Woodworking Intoxication
WI is a growing concern here in the United States. It strikes all levels of society. I found out recently, for example, that former president Jimmy Carter is an avid woodworker.
WI starts out innocently enough. The victim claims that they need some tools for around the house. They need a drill motor and bits for hanging pictures, a hammer, a selection of nails, and perhaps a level. Before you know it, they also have several pairs of pliers, a selection of screwdrivers, and a tool box. Many stop at this point content that they can fix a loose piece of moulding, or a nail pop in the floor. Most spouses of the WI victim are happy at this point. They think that things are going to be maintained around the house now. They do not realize that this is but one more step in the road to WI!
The true WI victim progresses rapidly to the next step. Before long they are watching home improvement shows on HGTV and public television. They begin mumbling as they watch. You hear, "So that's how they do that!", or the more ominous, "I can do that!" Most spouses do not realize that the home improvement shows are the gateway to the woodworking shows.
Something tells you that this growing obsession may get out of hand. You notice little things like how they look longingly at the lumber yard as you drive past, or how they have become unnaturally fond of stroking well made pieces of furniture. They associate with others who share their obsession, and who also talk using code words like "Jet", and "Grizzley" and "Rockler". They scan yard and garage sales looking for strange tools with names like "router", "biscuit jointer" and "chop saw".
The final stage of WI is not pretty. The victim isolates themselves in their work shop and gives the appearance of being quite happy there. They are on a first name basis with the UPS driver who delivers large boxes filled with strange equipment and exotic woods. When you walk out to see them, they are oftentimes covered in sawdust while staring intently at a diagram taped to the wall. Unfortunately WI is usually uncurable at this point. The spouse just has to live with it.
The outcomes are generally not too serious. The victim will probably spend the rest of their life sketching on napkins in restaurants, and in the margins of reports at work. They will occasionally go to woodworking shows and bring back pictures of new tools that they want, and their homes will gradually fill up with custom made furniture.
In the end, there is no need for a 12 step program unless, or course, they are building stairs.
WI starts out innocently enough. The victim claims that they need some tools for around the house. They need a drill motor and bits for hanging pictures, a hammer, a selection of nails, and perhaps a level. Before you know it, they also have several pairs of pliers, a selection of screwdrivers, and a tool box. Many stop at this point content that they can fix a loose piece of moulding, or a nail pop in the floor. Most spouses of the WI victim are happy at this point. They think that things are going to be maintained around the house now. They do not realize that this is but one more step in the road to WI!
The true WI victim progresses rapidly to the next step. Before long they are watching home improvement shows on HGTV and public television. They begin mumbling as they watch. You hear, "So that's how they do that!", or the more ominous, "I can do that!" Most spouses do not realize that the home improvement shows are the gateway to the woodworking shows.
Something tells you that this growing obsession may get out of hand. You notice little things like how they look longingly at the lumber yard as you drive past, or how they have become unnaturally fond of stroking well made pieces of furniture. They associate with others who share their obsession, and who also talk using code words like "Jet", and "Grizzley" and "Rockler". They scan yard and garage sales looking for strange tools with names like "router", "biscuit jointer" and "chop saw".
The final stage of WI is not pretty. The victim isolates themselves in their work shop and gives the appearance of being quite happy there. They are on a first name basis with the UPS driver who delivers large boxes filled with strange equipment and exotic woods. When you walk out to see them, they are oftentimes covered in sawdust while staring intently at a diagram taped to the wall. Unfortunately WI is usually uncurable at this point. The spouse just has to live with it.
The outcomes are generally not too serious. The victim will probably spend the rest of their life sketching on napkins in restaurants, and in the margins of reports at work. They will occasionally go to woodworking shows and bring back pictures of new tools that they want, and their homes will gradually fill up with custom made furniture.
In the end, there is no need for a 12 step program unless, or course, they are building stairs.
posted by Greg the woodworker | 10:12 AM
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